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14 May 2009 @ 01:00 pm
wow two posts in one day...  
I hate hurting people and that's exactly what I did. So I talked to Jason over the phone and told him how I felt. He had the reaction I figured he would have. He thought it was a stupid reason to stop seeing somebody (which to him it would be because he doesn't feel as strongly about the topic as I do). I tried to explain to him that it means a lot to me and he didn't get it. Then he starts spouting off things like "well I guess I'll stop bothering you then" and "its cool I was just really starting to like you but have a nice life" and hangs up on me. So maybe it was a good call after all but I still feel like shit for doing it. Suffering is a part of life and this too shall pass I guess.

But WAIT! There's more....
So after I get off the phone with him I get a text from one of my guy friends saying "I have something to tell you but I don't think you want to hear it." o_O Well no time like the present I figured and so I tell him to spill it. He wants to sleep with me. So this comes as kind of a shock but not really cause I was kind of getting that vibe from him and I pretty much felt the same way BUT there's soooo many reasons why it'd be a bad idea. Out of all the guys in my group I've only slept with one. He and I had a friends with benefits relationship and are still good friends. Well the deal with my friends is if you sleep with one it's ok but when you sleep with another it's "friend hopping" and I'd pretty much become more of a "girl" than a "friend," if that makes sense. Plus I could totally see him and I having a good time every now and then but I'm to the point where I'm looking for more than that now. So I told him as much and he totally understood and he said it's no problem he just had to tell me. That's why he's my friend, that's why they all have been my friends for more than ten years. We can be honest with each other and nobody gets all hurt.

So quite an emotional rollercoaster to start the day but at least it's all out there.
Current Mood: calmcalm
WandringSoulwandringsoul on May 19th, 2009 09:37 am (UTC)
Re: nod nod nod
Yeah - damnit, I'm always the sensible one!

; p